Community

As I watched a flock of birds hanging out on a power line over the train yard today, I couldn't help but think that it was a beautiful reflection of the sense of community that I feel in my church.

Yesterday was not just the usual Sunday.  We had the chance to honor a lovely couple for their consistent service in our church.  Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE (even the guest who was just at our church to make a presentation for the new Pregnancy Care Center in town) was filled with love and support for this couple!  And my favorite part is that even with the service mostly dedicated to this couple, what we were able to give them is STILL only a portion of the amount of love, and prayers, and honor, and service that they have given to us over the years and still will give!

My close-second favorite part is the reminder that my church family is AMAZING!  So much love, support, and togetherness.  Truly a beautiful community.  Maybe I'm biased, but I kind of don't think so.

My sense of community didn't end there yesterday.  I was able to hang out with my puzzle making friend again!  (Yes.  In case you were wondering... we did build another puzzle.  And I have no shame in admitting that we both had FUN doing it!)  The camaraderie in spending hours just hanging out with a friend is so stinkin' wonderful that it only added to my awareness of the community that I am fortunate enough to be a part of.

AND THERE'S MORE!!  I went straight from that friend's house to another friend's house!  One of the young men in the youth has been slowly (and with a great deal of patience on his part) giving me a video game education.  We spent hours playing, laughing the whole time (because I was SO BAD at the beginning, and still not near pro by the time we called it a night!), and I was reminded once again that the community in my church family has spawned a great community in the Youth Group!  Even though we were both frustrated at my ineptitude, we still had a great deal of fun.

I think that is beautiful.

I am so grateful to God that I get to be a part of this community of amazing people who care about me and that I have the opportunities to care about in return.

I hope that you all get the chance to experience that, my lovelies!

Sewing, Day 1

The first day of sewing the purse went thusly...

Step one:  Set up work space.

  -- I realized as I was putting this up that it looks like I set up my water bottle for the best angle, but I promise, it was all an accident :)

Step two:  Iron all the light grey pieces. 

Step three:  Start sewing the strap.

  -- The strap is always my least favorite part so I figured I get it out of the way first. 

Step four:   Spend an hour fighting with the sewing machine.

  -- The tension was off, then it kept un-threading itself (which makes it get all knotted in the bobbin case, so you have to cut the work out of the tangle of threads, then open up everything to get all of the little pieces of knotted thread out, then re-thread the machine, then cross your fingers and try again.)

  -- Finally, I got two diagonal lines sewn and felt like I'd conquered the beast!

Step five:  Almost finish strap, and run out of bobbin thread.

  -- Convenient since I had to go to work anyway.

Step six:  Come back after work, supper, and Youth to finish strap.  Add the buckles.

  -- Again with the water bottle!  This time was also unintentional, for the record.

Step seven:  Take a break from the strap of nightmares to quilt two pieces together for the bottom of the purse.

  -- This took SOOOO much longer than I thought it would!  I was going to do the same with the sides,but quickly nixed that idea as soon as I'd finished the bottom.  It may be structural, but it was exhausting!

Step eight:  Sew the strap to the side.

  -- I only did one...  I'll do the other side next time. 

The end of day one.

Goodnight, lovelies...

When Creativity Happens...

Hello lovelies!

So it's almost two in the morning and I've spent the last nearly four hours* doing THIS!

*I recounted in the normal hours of the day and it was actually less than three hours... apparently my brain stops being smart after midnight.  It's like Cinderella, except... not.

One of the many hobbies that I have is sewing -- specifically purse design.  Since all of my purses have decided to fall apart as of late, I decided that I should start this project that I've been designing for a year.  This also gave me a convenient opportunity to use my new Christmas present -- a cutting mat and rotary blade (happydance)!  Thank you sister and brother-in-law!

You see that piece of lined paper in the middle there?  That's my list of all of the pieces of material that I had to cut out.  Makes a little more sense why I was working for four  three(ish) hours at this, doesn't it?

The pile of grey material on the left is actually the pieces that I had ALREADY cut out when I took the picture.

There were A LOT of pieces in that pile so I decided that I should label them before I forgot what they all were.

Hmmm... I think I like pockets :)  And those are just the ones on the inside!

 Here's the final pile with all of the pieces cut!  Does it look like a purse yet?

Yeah... it doesn't really look like one to me either, and I know what it will (should?) look like in the end!  Stay tuned!  Hopefully, I'll post more pictures as I put them all together.

Now...

I know that I said this would be a YouTube free post, but I can't resist!  This song is so adorable :)

Until next time, my lovely stalkers!

Carnegie Hall!!

Well, I could have saved myself some time with yesterday's post if I'd have only remembered that THIS was happening.  Awesome people doing awesome things at (aaaaaaahhhh!) Carnegie Hall!!! (stompstomp)

If you have two and a half hours to spare, grab some popcorn or something and enjoy the show.
(You can skip all the way to 35:10 right away...)
(Also, sorry for Kimya's language.  I mostly just like the John and Hank related stuff.)


Goodnight Lovelies!

P.S.  Hello new stalkers :)  Sorry to overwhelm you with the nerd factor lately!  I'll probably post about something that ISN'T YouTube related tomorrow morning.

P.P.S  I am open to you being less "stalker" and more "friend", ya know, if you are.  Not that I'll judge you if you stay hidden, goodness knows that I have never revealed my presence on others' blogs!  But if you're feeling brave, leave a comment, I'd love to start a discussions and/or whatnot.

Once again...

Hmmm... it's seems like Mondays are going to be the day that I feel I should blog in order to not fall out of habit.  (By "seems" I mean that this is the second time... that's enough right?)

Now I just have to decide again WHAT to blog about...

... it's hardest to come up with something when I start with the thought to blog, rather than start with the idea to blog about.  Whodathunkit?

There's also the dilemma of my brain not remembering the "things" that I've added to my mental list of things to blog about...  That's also a problem.

Okay.  This won't be for everyone (because, you know, there are SO many of you, right?), but it's all that's floating around in my head right now.  If you aren't interested, I don't mind, just ignore this post.

NERD SONGS!!!!  I was listening to these at work today.

Doubts.

// Mark 9:24b NLT // "I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!" //

This was the verse that stood out to me in my personal devotions, and ultimately became the lesson I taught at the Youth Bible Study on Wednesday.

This story in Mark that tells of Jesus healing a demon-possessed boy contains a lot of characters who are struggling with unbelief, but the father of the boy is my favorite.  I can relate to him.

Not because I have a demon-possessed child, but because sometimes I also feel so stuck in this place between belief and unbelief that all I can think to say is, "I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!".

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(A lot of the following is how I've pictured it as if I were standing in the story.  All of the accounts of this healing [Mark 9:14-29, Matthew 17:14-21, Luke 9:37-43] don't really give us an up close and personal view of the father, or any of the characters really.  But they are human, their natures are not so difficult to imagine.  Regardless, this is my disclaimer: I made some of it up.  I encourage you to follow along in Mark 9:14-29 if you are able to.)

This man is desperate!  His son has been possessed since he was little, and this is no doubt not the first time that the father has sought healing for him.  He brings his boy, in faith, to where Jesus is supposed to be.  Instead, he finds 9 of the 12 disciples and the news that Jesus is up the mountain, not to return for a while.

If I were him, this would have deflated me a little.

But never fear!  The disciples have performed healings only three chapters ago and are eager to prove that, even if they aren't "special" enough to go up the mountain with Jesus, they aren't useless.  They probably insisted that they could heal his boy.

So they try.  ...And they fail.  (Lack of faith can do that... see Matthew 17:19-21)

So while an argument starts between some religious teachers and the disciples for who knows what reason, I imagine this father is off on the side-lines... beginning to wonder if his little boy CAN ever be healed, beginning to doubt when, if ever, life will change.

Then Jesus walks up.

The argument stops, people run to greet him, and he asks what everyone was arguing about.

The father steps up and desperately explains how he brought his son to see Jesus so that he could be healed.  He explains the boy's situation (basically, the demon causes grand mal seizures, which I can't imagine watching your child go through). Then he breaks the bad news... the disciples couldn't do it.

Jesus says a couple of choice words on the faithlessness of his disciples, and then he says, "Bring the boy to me."

Any hope the father may have had at Jesus finally being in the story, I imagine, probably didn't last long as, upon seeing Jesus, the evil spirit "threw the child into a violent convulsion, and he fell to the ground, writhing and foaming at the mouth."

Gah!  To be a parent in that situation must be heart breaking!  I have very little doubt that all he was thinking was how much he wished this could all be over for his son.

In my head, the father turns to Jesus beseechingly hoping that Jesus is seeing this and will heal his boy NOW.

But instead, Jesus asks, "How long has this been happening?"

Wait, whaaaaat?!

(I love this part!)  Jesus sees the struggle of doubt within the father, He knows the fear the father has that even JESUS won't be able to heal his boy, and Jesus can tell that this man's faith has been shaken.

And as the father answers Jesus, I can feel his desperation as he explains even more strongly that the evil spirit has tried to kill his boy!  He cries, "Have mercy on us and help us, if you can."

There it is.

The father has identified his own doubt.

// Mark 9:23-24 NLT // "What do you mean, 'If I can'?" Jesus asked.  "Anything is possible if a person believes."  The father instantly cried out, "I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!" //

THEN... Jesus turns to the boy.  "I command you to come out of this child and never enter him again!"

The spirit screams and throws the boy into another seizure, but this time, I don't think the father doubts.  This time, he believes it now, is the last time.

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Like I said before, I relate to this father.

I very strongly believe that God has a plan for my future.  I just lose sight of that sometimes when another year passes and it isn't my future yet.  I get discouraged and start to think, maybe the things I hope for will never happen, maybe the future I have in my head will never exist.

I'm in that place right now.

I needed this story to remind me that I have a Savior who is CONSTANT, and a God who has a future and a hope PLANNED for me.  His timing will be PERFECT, I just have to live in faith.  

When I catch myself doubting what my future will hold and/or when it will hold it, I will pray, "Father, I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief."

Do I Tell...

I think this is the post that will push me onto 2 pages, and that's got me thinking.

Me:  Do I tell people that I've started a blog?
Self:  Well, you DID tell those two people that one night at the dinner table...
Me:  Yes, but that was the day after I'd started the blog, and I just HAD to tell somebody.  Plus, computers are tricky for them, I don't even think they've thought looked at it yet.  I'm talking about OTHER people.
Self:  Like... Facebook?
Me:  Essentially... Yes.

(Even though I can carry that conversation really well in my head, it was surprisingly difficult to keep it all straight as I typed it so... that's enough of that!)

I'm facing a bit of a dilemma.

On one hand, I don't really want my blog to never be read by anyone.

On the other hand, I'm terrified that my blog will ever be read by anyone!

You see my dilemma?

I'm still not sure which hand will win out.

Part of my struggle with my decision is HOW to tell people.  I don't really think that telling everyone on Facebook is the way that I want to go.  I have been, and intend to be, very honest about my life, and that route just feels a little too over-exposed.  Though, there are a lot of people there who I feel would make very good, supportive stalkers.  I want to be able to tell all of THEM without having to hand pick who they will be.

Hmmm... maybe this is too much to think on at TWO in the morning.  I'll sleep on it.

THAT reminds me of THIS.
(Note: If you are sensitive to scientists who talk about evolution, be prepared to cover your ears for 5:31-5:39.  Also, I apologize for the weirdness that is 5:44-6:06.  BUT the science and everything that is not related to a sex joke is, I think at least, kind of fascinating.)

Lessons.

... I wish hard lessons were easier to learn.

// James 1:19 NLT // Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. //

God has been (re)teaching me these truths in the last twenty-four hours.

Being slow to speak has never been an easy one for me.  I dislike seeing anyone go through hard times and I just want to get in there and FIX it.  But... I have learned that helpful words do not always help.  More often, just listening is what helps the most.

I learned this a long time ago, but today, I obviously needed to be reminded of it.

I always joke with God that I am relatively unobservant to the things He is trying to teach me, and so he should know that if He wants something to sink in He has to make it reallyreallysuperextra obvious!

One should never joke with God...

I had two completely separate, but almost identical situations yesterday and today.  In one I was hasty to give "advice" without really understanding the other person's problem.  In the other, someone made a point of giving me their two cents without taking the time to understand to my situation.

In both situations, the "helpful" opinion was given to be just that, helpful.  The advice came out of a place of concern for the other person's situation.

I realized right away that I'd goofed and I made a "Sorry for the speech!" statement, but it wasn't until I found myself getting frustrated at the person who gave me their thoughts so hastily that I understood again just how hurtful helpful-but-not-helpful words can be.

In both situations, there was one person who was a little too slow to listen and a little too quick to speak.  And, in my situation at least, there was someone who was finding it a little too easy to be quick to anger (in my head only, which I'm grateful for now).

Before I wrote this, I sent an apology to the young man to whom I was so quick to give advice.  He was very gracious and I am blessed to have such maturity in my little group of youth.

Since I'm the one who learned the lesson, I don't really expect to receive an apology in the other situation.  It doesn't lessen the hurt yet, but it's good to have perspective and the reminder that it is my responsibility to be the gracious one. After all, I know how easy it is to think that my "helpful" opinion just HAS to be given.

Something to think about, my lovelies.

Remember today to be QUICK to listen, SLOW to speak, and SLOW to get angry.

And maybe, if necessary, QUICK to apologize.

God bless.

Missing Pens!

One of the blogs of which I am a stalker is the blog of author Maggie Stiefvater.

She is frequently hilarious.

Case in point.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I do :)
http://m-stiefvater.livejournal.com/243458.html

Too Many Things.

I decided that I should blog today so as not to fall out of habit... but I kinda have nothing to say.

That's not really true, I suppose.  The more realistic statement is that I have too many things to say and I'm not sure of how to chose just one, let alone focus on it well enough to be eloquent and/or make sense in general.  This is my brain, welcome.

Hmmm...

(I'm attempting to chose.  You can't tell, but it's taking a lot of face-scrunching.)

Okay, I've got it.  I'm going to talk about my amazement at the friends that God brings into my life.

I had the pleasure of spending several hours yesterday with a new, but quickly becoming good, friend.  I went over to hang out on Sunday evening and immediately noticed that her son (who's 3) had a big band-aid on his forehead.  When I asked about it, she explained that while playing hide-and-seek she'd managed to convince him to cover his eyes so that he could not see, then decided that he should stand in the corner so there was even less of a chance of him seeing anything.  So, with eyes firmly covered, her little boy walked in the direction he thought was the corner... and ran head first into the wall.

One of those situations where you want to laugh, but you know you probably shouldn't...

Anyways, one of the first things she says to me is, "You can hang out with me for six hours if you want."  Then noting my confused expression, she explained, "I'm going to have to wake him up every half hour for the next six hours." (She didn't say "because he could have a concussion," but I figured it out pretty quickly.)  I don't think she meant for me to take her up on it, but in the end I was there for six and a half hours, so there you go.  She was working on a puzzle, and I love puzzles, so it was only natural that I stay until it was done (minus 8 missing pieces).

Tada!  (By the way, non-square puzzles are more complicated, but also more satisfying. Not to mention cooler looking!)


But the puzzle isn't what I want to talk about.  God has brought us together from completely different walks of life.  She's a new Christian, I grew up in it.  She lived the party life, I... lived the nerd life? (Books, puzzles, and walks are "fun", I'm not sure what else to call it!)  Even though she is 2 years younger than I am, she has a 3 year old, has been married for 3 years, and is going through a sorta-separation.  I have never even had a serious relationship.

And even with (or possibly, because of) all of these differences we were able to chat and goof off for six and a half hours together!  We both felt completely comfortable and were both openly sharing about things that are usually uncomfortable.  I can see God in it everywhere!  This was our first of, hopefully, many hangouts to come.  I look forward to what God will teach me, and how He might use me, through this friendship.

Farewell, my stalkers!  Until next time.

Over-Committed and Stalkers

I tend to over-commit myself.

Because I CAN do many things, I agree to do ALL of them.  

For example: Tomorrow (Sunday) I am scheduled for both running PowerPoint AND leading worship.  I am good with computers and passable with my guitar and so I've agreed to both of these things without really processing that at times, they will conflict with each other.

This particular example is fairly easy for me to fix, but that is not always the case.  More often than not, I try to cram all of the things in, and in doing so, burn myself out a little bit.  I know that what God has Planned for me right now is to be the Youth Leader, but he has also given me gifts that I feel bad not using.  

But of course, that attitude is not helpful.  And this will be my struggle.  I know (or, more likely, have convinced myself) that, in our small church, if I do not do one of my things, either no one will or the Pastor will (because he also suffers from over-commitment).

But alas... I think at some point soon, I will have say no to one of my commitments.  I don't like it.  It will not be easy, and I dread having to decide.

Stalkers, I'd appreciate your help in praying about this.

Speaking of my stalkers! 

This is a picture of my pageview statistics.  They were in the single digits for days and then BAM 24!  I suspect that for the most part (especially the Germany and South Korea numbers) the boost is related to the adds on the YouTube video yesterday.  I also have a tendency to go look at the blog myself (because it's pretty, and new, and I'm paranoid about typos).  But still, hello lovely stalkers!  Even if you are just computers.

Two Statues...

I found this joke the other day.  It brings me great joy!
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For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came to them.  "You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "I'm going to give you a special gift.  I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want."  And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.

The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches.  Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.

"You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking at them.  Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "You want to do it again?"  And he replied, "Yes, very much.  But this time let's switch positions.  This time you hold the pigeon down and I'll poop on its head."

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Hehehe "you hold the pigeon down and I'll poop on its head"!!  I can't get enough of that :)

Nerdiness (Nerdyness?)

I'm kind of addicted to YouTube at the moment in the most nerdy of ways.

Of my 29 Subscriptions (Gah! 29 Subscriptions),
13 are EduTubes (Basically educational videos, which sounds lame and boring, but SO IS NOT!)
7 are basic Vlogs (Including Vlogbrothers, which is part of the reason I'm addicted to Youtube.  See an example below, but be warned... it starts with one video and then BAM 29 Subscriptions.)
4 are web series (Why is the plural of series "series"?!)
2 are Let's Play channels (Which is a crossover from my "real life"...  I like to watch OTHER people play video games.)
1 is an a capella group (5 voices, full sound, 1 adorably deep-voiced bass vocalist *sigh*)
1 is some guys who play piano and cello (and are awesome!)
and 1 is just a cat (Maru should never be described as "just a cat".  Shame on me.)

Yep. *looks at list* I have a problem.

There was a time (not so very long ago) when I looked at my list of priorities and compared it to a pie chart of what I spent my time on... and well, it wasn't pretty.  Things like time with God, time with family, time with/preparing for Youth, and time spent on everyday responsibilities had just slivers of the pie chart even though they were clearly top of my priority list.

I've been intentionally working on this over the past handful of months.  Some of my priorities seemed more vital at the end of August, when suddenly, I was preparing to be the sole Youth Leader.  I really had to be critical of my pie chart, because I couldn't afford to slack off anymore.  I got consistent with God fast and found that it was much easier than I ever thought it could be to stay that way (turns out I had a great many useless excuses...).  There were other things that I changed (for other blog posts), but that's the big one obviously.

And I can only be thankful.  God knows.  I needed the threat (so to speak) of "responsibility" to necessitate my no-excuses-allowed consistency with Him.  My own desire for it took over at some point in early September, but I needed the kick in the pants to get me over the initial hump.

// Ephesians 3:20 NLT // Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. //


And now, nerd jokes.  Remember my warning.

To blog or not to blog...

Well I guess it's obvious that I've decided (at least for now) to blog.

I'm honestly a little skeptical about my ability to maintain a blog.  I keep trying to tell myself that if I can be consistent about stalking others' blogs then I should be able to consistently create my own.

Oh the lies I tell myself.

Nonetheless, I'm gonna give it a try.

Step one: Create a blog.  Done.  Step two: Create content/schedule/whatevers.  TBD.

Wish me luck! (She says to no one.)